The Adventures of Laundry Man
by mynameisriku
Summary: Demyx and his cronies get shut down as Xemnas finds out what theyre up to. lame finish but im lazy read it!
1. Chapter 1

Lol this is a fic about a pic I saw and thought it was funny and decided to write a fic bout it. And funnily enough I have permission LOL.

It is where Demyx and Axel and Roxas go around the worlds solving mysteries and is mostly humor but will try and add mystery not very good at it though.

'Hey Saix, you need a hair cut.' Demyx said turning around to face him on the couch as he stood behind him. Saix remained calm but walked away muttering to him self. 'if only we weren't aloud to kill team members.' And walked into the kitchen. He pulled out a mug and started to make a coffee when a voice in the doorway made him turn around. 'Hey Saix you should get a haircut.' Demyx said again and Saix walked off still silent. He ended up in the hall looking at the half finished kingdom hearts. When Xigbar teleported into the room with Demyx on his shoulders in a shoulder war because they both looked every way as if to suddenly see a berserker attack them. When Axel and Roxas portalled in Roxas on Axel's shoulders. Then Roxas and Demyx lunged for each other and continued their war. When Demyx called out 'Saix a trim would look good on you.' Suddenly Saix lifted his hand and summoned his claymore. Demyx let out a small 'Eeeep.' And Xigbar threw him to the ground and teleported away quickly followed by Axel and Roxas. Then he quickly got to his feet and sprinted for the door. having water for an element was good because Demyx let a puddle on the floor behind him and was satisfied when he heard a dull thud as Saix hit the wall after stumbling. Then Demyx opened a portal into the room. Proof of existence. And quickly looked at his own panel. It changed corresponding to how close to death they were at the moment. His was a very faint pink meaning about two seconds away, and he jumped away. When there was a giant thud and the panel he was standing on was destroyed. Zexions panel. There was a zapping sound and Demyx turned to see Saix with his hair on end and then he fell over unconscious. He turned to look at his panel which again was a nice blue. Then he was dragged away into a portal. He ended up in Xemnas' office. And he knew he was in big trouble.

Ten minutes later he had been banned from eating food, yelling, running and singing.He was also banned from playing his sitar which greatly upset him because it was one of the few things he did with out annoying to many of his fellow housemates. Also denied of him were the computer, PS2, Xbox, and television. This also greatly annoyed him as he was the best at all of these things. Seeing as he rarely got missions he had plenty of leisure time most of which he spent playing his sitar but when he had finished his eight hour daily practice of that he left to go and do other things. Some days he would watch TV others he would play the Xbox. He was flexible. Today however he walked aimlessly through the castle that never was and looked for something to do.

'Uhhhh im so bored.' Demyx said aloud as he walked in the hall of empty melodies. Which today it was because he wasn't playing here. When Axel and Roxas ran out of the next room and stopped in front of him. 'Oh hey guys.' Demyx said in a small voice he was utterly bored and not very hyper right now. 'Hey guess what?' asked Roxas.

'Dunno.' Said Demyx

'Orders from the superior get to it.' And he handed him a note. And axel kept on going while Roxas turned around and ran back the other way. Demyx looked down at the note and read it.

"_Demyx the castles supply of awesomely cool black cloaks has run out and since you are in debt to Zexion you will be doing the laundry in his place._

_- The Superior _

'Crap.' And with that he walked to the laundry in the basement. He was walking down and he saw axel talking to Larxene and they were exchanging jokes. 'And then he goes "did you lose a bet.' Larxene said as he sulkily walked past them into the laundry. When he got into the laundry he saw that there was a mountain of washing twelve feet tall. He started by filling the three washing machines with powder and then he put the cloaks in one. Underwear and things like that in the next and leisure clothes in the last and turned them on. First done was the cloaks and he hung them on the line on the roof by portaling there. Next was the leisure clothes he also hung them there except for his favorite shirt and jeans which he changed into. Lastly was the underwear. He treated this pile with extreme care as he didn't want to touch to much of it. Then a light bulb above his head lit as he had an idea.

He found a pair of white boxers with love hearts and put them aside he also took a pair of his own under wear and Larxene's polka-dot bra. He then walked out to axel and Larxene and said loudly. 'AXEL CAN YOU PLEASE QUICKLY DRY THESE THINGS FOR ME!' he saw axel reluctantly turn and face him. 'Fine.' He spat with enough acid in his voice to drown Lexaeus in. he ignited his hands and put them close to the pile of clothes for a minute until they were dry and he said in a sing song voice 'thank you axee-poo.' And quickly ran before the higher ranked nobody could punch him.

As he entered the laundry he put his under wear on his head, the bra on backwards to avoid silly questions about him having boobs and the boxers on over his jeans. And he ran to the mirror in the corner to admire his hard work. His mullet was ruined but he didn't care. The hair poked out the holes and the rest of it hung down like his mullet. His red shirt was covered in a yellow and black polka dot bra that was on backwards. And his jeans were obscured by Xigbar's boxers. 'Now I need a name.' he thought to him self then it clicked.

Clean.

Laundry.

Man.

Dun dah End of chapter. Lol this is gonna be good I can feel it.

So please review and I'll write faster plz!!!


	2. Chapter 2

The second chapter of the laundryman saga is here. Well I hope this goes a little better than the first.

As Demyx admired his new super suit he noticed that something was missing. He thought and thought but couldn't place his finger on it. So he thought of all the heroes he knew before he became nothing. Spiderman. Amazing web powers and skintight suit. Nothing he didn't have. Batman. Nothing but a couple of gadgets to help him in tight spots. Big black suit and cape. That was it he needed a cape. He scanned the room for an appropriate cape when his eyes fell upon a red sweater.

He decided he had gone this far he might as well go the whole twelve yards. He tied the sweater around his neck. He then thought. 'Okay now I need a weapon of clean-ee goodness.' He looked around and saw that there was not much in the way of weapons in a laundry. Even if it was a non-existent laundry. Then his eyes fell over a washing basket full to the brim with Lexaeus' socks. They were all brown from him controlling the element of dirt but that would have to do for now. He picked up a handful of the socks and sneaks out to Axel and Larxene. Demyx heard Axel telling another joke. 'And he's all "That's not my heartless that's my wife!" Larxene just laughed.

Then he tiptoed out a bit further and said in what he thought was a heroic voice. 'Do not fear fair citizens! For Behold; there is indeed goodness in this world!! For all that is nothing, I am…' Then he came sprinting out of the laundry and yelled. 'Clean Laundry Man.' and with that he threw a sock at Axel and turned on his heel and ran yelling 'LAUNDRY AWAY!!'

After a moment Larxene noticed something. 'Is Demyx wearing my bra!?' and with that began to give chase after the self proclaimed "laundry man". Buzzing with electricity as she always did when she was angry. Since axel had nothing better to do he gave chase as well. Sock still on his head.

Demyx looked behind him and saw that Larxene was right behind him closely followed by Axel. His immediate thought was to run faster or portal away. Since his jugular vein was in danger of being ripped out and panicking he just kept on running. Occasionally turning to look behind him to see Larxene closer so he sped up. After about five minutes of running he ran into Roxas. He was standing there staring at his favorite thing in the world. A shell. No one knows how he got it but all he did was stare at it. Xemnas came to the conclusion that it was a part of his some bodies life. Demyx yelled out. 'Roxas save me.' And ran around a close corner. Everybody in the organization had a soft spot for Roxas. If it be for his random funny remarks from. "Why do we have no blood but we have boogers?" to "I wish I had some awesome undies. Not a thong; just some cool undies." Or his uncanny ability to fit in with everyone in the organization at the same time by changing his personality. With Larxene it was the latter. He just stuck out his foot as Larxene was running past and tripped her sending her to the floor in a heap. Demyx heard a dull and chanced a look behind him. He saw Larxene on the ground unconscious and Roxas standing next to her lifeless form. Although her body is always lifeless now. 'oh well.' Demyx said and stood next to Roxas and held out his hand for a high five. They said nothing as they stood staring at Larxene's lifeless body and then Roxas spoke up 'Where can I get me one of those?' he asked Demyx enquiring about his… outfit.

Seems like a good place to end it n what should Roxas n Axel wear???? Review n tell me plz!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

This chap is going to be written in the first person coz of so many good stories that I have read in the fist person and I decided to write 1 as well. ENJOY the clean laundry goodness!!!

As I stood looking at our only female member of our "organization" pondering Roxas' question then finally answered 'come with me.' To my surprise Axel followed suit. We walked to just outside the laundry and stopped.

'Why do you want one anywho?' I asked Roxas

He just looked at me then said 'Well Dunno I want to wear my jammies all day so I thought if I had an outfit like that one it could be like that.' Shrugging.

'And Axel, what do you want?' I said turning to face him.

He stood there looking at me as if that was the stupidest question he had ever heard. 'Well obviously you two are so blaringly stupid, that I thought you would need a professional flamethrower like myself to help you when Saix or Xemnas find out and you have the urge to wear underwear on your head and pajamas all day.'

'Hey shut up you……..' im not that good when it comes to insults but I try 'Doofus, yeah .Hah top that.' I yelled. Roxas held his hand out for a five.

'Nice.' All was all he said.

Axel however was far more adept at insults from taunting Larxene and Xigbar and yelled this back at me. 'What ever you fat, stupid, lazy, shit eating, cunt faced, mother fucking bastard who has bad hair.' Yeah, ouch.

I responded with the best I could. 'Don't tell me your hobbies tell them to Larxene she gets more out of it than I do.'

Then I turned on my heel and walked into the laundry cape fluttering behind me. At this point they followed me and stood behind me in the now clean laundry thanks to my hours of hard work. Not really it only took about five minutes. Oh well back to the matter at hand. 'Now you both need a theme, mine as you can see is clean laundry. Roxas yours will be….. What??' I asked facing the adolescent

'Pajamas. Duh Demyx.' He said with a bright happy face. Not that we can _feel_ happy but you get the picture. I walked over to the pile of clothes and pulled out a pair of Vexen's boxers, Xemnas' pajama top and Marluxia's pajama bottoms some gloves from the draw and a night cap Saix insisted he wear every night. He stepped into the change room… okay he teleported away and back getting changed in his room. And looked very good as wearing pj's goes. The top was very much like the special coat that Xemnas had except that it was button up not zippered. The bottoms were bright pink and had hearts and flowers on them but Roxas didn't seem to care. I think that he quite liked them. The boxers had little icicles all over them. And Saix's mask now had Zorro style holes so that Roxas could see or else you know he'd crash into stuff. Axel was yet to get dressed by my amazing skills of finding things. I turned to find him dressed. It was a… different style than me and Roxas who were rather funny but Axel had gone total serious on us.

He wore a Tuxedo with a red tie and a red mask his hair still fine. The mask somehow stuck to his face. The shoes however were still the standard organization boots that everyone wore. The coat had tails on it and the cufflinks were flames big surprise. He looked very smart but I won't admit that aloud. I'd never hear the end of it. As we all stood there in out super suit as I liked to think of them Roxas spoke up. 'So ummmm, do we have names??'

'Well I do.' I said; 'I'm LAUNDRY MAN!' striking a pose where I bent down a little and put one arm back on one side and the other arm around the other side of my chest and pointed them back. After a few seconds I fell over. Not a graceful fall but a probably hilariously funny and weird looking fall to Roxas and Axel but to me it hurt a lot since I landed on my face with a dull thud on the cold hard stone floor. I got up and I heard chuckling and they were laughing at me.

'Dem you're a nut. But that makes sense, what bout Roxas? Hmm?' Axel said pointing at Roxas.

'I was thinking along the lines of, the Pajama Knight.' He said. Now that was one of the young boy's better ideas, he had lots but none of them were Nobel Prize materiel. Once he thought that if he held a party for the day each of us died that we would be thankful. We would start to grow a heart. How much more wrong could he be. Axel did not like being reminded that he died by drowning when he was trying to get his wallet out of the ocean on his twenty second birthday. Roxas held a party under water for the pyro. Lets leave it at his hair didn't smell very nice when it was burnt and he looked very unhappy.

Marluxia did not appreciate being reminded that he died when he was crushed by a circus tent collapsing on him and suffocating to death. And I hate clowns. I remember the screams from when he tried to feed Roxas to his man-eating plants. Another idea he had was a Christmas. Xaldin was the most unkind person I know on Christmas. You know how normal people give presents on Christmas… not him. Want to know how Xigbar really got that eye patch. Xaldin on Christmas. Not very pleasant seeing him stabs him repeatedly in the eye over and over again. Scarred me for after life. Roxas was kinda sad as well. He went through an "emo week" as Xaldin calls them.

Any way now this idea. It was mind gold. I looked up to see Axel picking his nose. Not good. I shrugged it off and said 'sounds good and you axel?

'Me? Im the Tuxedo.'

'Original said Roxas standing next to him.

All of a sudden one of our mobiles rang. It wasn't mine I had the "OC" ring tone so it wasn't me. Roxas pulled his out and said 'Xemnas wants us in the meeting room.' So he portalled out. Soon followed by axel. I took of the extra bits of my attire. Let out a sigh and portalled into the meeting room.

YAY done 4 this chap now go forth and review plz and for my reviewers here u r!!!!!

COOKIES: a reward for my reviewers.

RavenhairedSora: thank you for a customary review and here is a basket of Oreo's and a mocha Big M. Much love

Blue-carrot-unmei: thanks for making that pic much luv also I will give you a big bag of choc chip cookies and a glass of milk!!! Yay luv!!


	4. Chapter 4

'Well im only gonna wait another five minutes until I stuff this meeting up the superior's ass.' Larxene informed the large group as the entire group of nobodies sat in their chairs.

They all had been waiting for the superior for three hours now. All of them knew not to leave or else the superior would let Vexen or Xaldin have their way with them (not that way ewwwww yaoi). The superior appeared after about another five minutes and he raised his head with his expression unchanging and said. 'What are you all doing in the meeting hall?'

'You mean we WEREN'T meant to be here?' Larxene's voice echoed throught the hall.

'Yes' Xemnas said simply walking out. 'Numbers eight, nine and thirteen are to join me in my office for a...' he paused to find the right words and finished 'Discussion.' Every one portalled out except Xigbar who jumped down and started to laugh. He continued to laugh, he laughed and laughed until he stopped and sprinted into the bathroom before he wet himself. 'Oooh priceless. Making them all wait there for a three hours before Xemnas showed up. Ha only here could that happen.'

As all three requested portalled into Xemnas' office they looked at the familiar surroundings. All there was in the room was a Desk, four chairs and lots and lots of cases stacked with books all to do with the heart and the three of them knew that Xemnas had written them.

'Hmm. Now it has come to my attention that the three of you have been masquerading around in your underwear and pajamas. You will stop this foolishness at once. I hear any more about this and I will send you to Atlantica for a week. Demyx you would be going for a trip to beasts castle.' And with that the three portalled out in silence.

END crap I know that sucked giant ass and doodle penis furry vagina but meh I don't care. Probably coz I stopped playing kh2 I lost interest in this fic.


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